Somehow, in my exuberance, I failed to post the end of Chapter 1. How Things Came to Be.  If you are interested in how the story goes, you really need to read Chapter 1. How Things Came to Be (part 3).  Sorry about that.

        

Okay, this is the last part of Chapter 2. Things aren't going so well for Coy, Jr. but they, as you would guess, they begin to get even worse with a little help from Woody.<< MORE >>

Here's the next section from "Coy, Jr."  If you
want to start from the beginning then...<< MORE >>

Okay, so here's part 3 of Chapter 2. Not much in the feedback department from you folks out there. Just a click in the survey box is all I'm asking. If you haven't read how this got started, go back to...<< MORE >>

For some unknown reason, the post "Not Illiterate in Mississippi" became incredibly popular. If you do a Google search for "Illiterate in Mississippi" it comes up at the first of the results. That's amazing in an ego-boosting sort of way. So, being all shellacked up with a new coat of pride, I decided to take this chance to provide you my latest reading list...like you care. In my never ending quest to prove that we here in good ol' Mississippi are a literate bunch, I like to share my literary conquests from time to time or at the very least shove them down your throat to prove my intellectual prowess. And for those of you that don't recognize it, that's what we call sarcasm. ...<< MORE >>

Here is Part 2 of Chapter 2.  If you haven't read the earlier part, click ...<< MORE >>

Okay, here's the first part of Chapter 2. Give me some feedback, will you? Like, dislike, don't care, whatever. Just let me know that there's life on the other end of the innerweb.<< MORE >>

I must apologize to my readers. I left out the end of Chapter 1. You really need to read it if you want to know how things came about.<< MORE >>

If you haven't read the first part of this chapter, you should go down to the next post and start there.  If you like what you are reading, leave me a rating on the survey at the end of the article.  It won't hurt, I promise....<< MORE >>

The following is an excerpt from my book, Coy, Jr. 
I decided to post the first part of Chapter 1 and see if anyone would be
interested in reading it online.  I hope you like it.  Give me some
feedback and let me know.
...<< MORE >>

I've told you about the Nash Metropolitan that I once owned, but I've never told you about the REALLY bad car I once had.  In 1980 I purchased the undoubtedly worst car to ever be towed out of Detroit...a brand spankin' new Pontiac Sunbird. The name, Sunbird, evokes images of being a free spirit, hitting the road for the beach and having the time of your life. In reality this car would familiarize you with being a free spirited hitchhiker because car parts would usually hit the road. Little did I know that, in fact,"Sunbird" was synonymous with "Buzzard". You've heard of "Monday" cars? This thing must have been built on the first Monday after the Christmas shutdown. ...<< MORE >>

    The only reason I'm telling this is to appease the Sister.  It's not really a good story to me, but it seems my mentally deranged family gets a kick out of people cheating death...when it's not them.  I don't remember all the details, but I'm sure the Sister will be happy to fill in the blanks.
...<< MORE >>

Several years ago, probably about the third week of March, Jim and I went pond fishing one beautiful, but cold, Saturday morning.  We went out to a farm
pond and slipped a 10 foot aluminum boat into the still frigid waters
with full intention of pulling some nice largemouths out of their winter
retreat. ...<< MORE >>

    On occasion I have to go back and look at the video links to make sure they haven't been removed.  If you
ever find one that has been removed or enabled, leave a comment and I'll try to
repair or replace it.  I generally just link to YouTube, so if anyone gets
sued I hope it's them, not me.  Anyway, here are some old music videos or
videos of old music...whichever.
...<< MORE >>

Capt. Dave was the pilot that flew us around in our corporate plane a
number of years ago.  In my opinion he was not just a hot dog, he was the
actual weenie itself.  Capt. Dave was all about flying.  He saw his
passengers as nothing more than the obstacle that stood in the
way of conducting aerial maneuvers that would have made Chuck Yeager puke. 
He often accused me of being afraid to fly.  Nothing was further from the
truth.  I'll admit, however, I was afraid of dying.  ...<< MORE >>

Want to know what's really embarrassing?  When you
have special guests on board your boat and the motor conks out...
...<< MORE >>

    I think I've mentioned how much I
hate cold weather a time or two.  While anything below 60 degrees is bone
chilling to me, it could be worse.  Have a look...
...<< MORE >>

Anyway, today I thought about an incident that happened to me several years ago
at my old place of employment.  I was sitting in my office one morning when
the boss called me on the phone ...<< MORE >>

    We're trying to conserve energy at work. Some people do it by taking the stairs instead of the elevator and some just take a nap. Some open the door with their hands while others use the automatic opener intended for disabled employees. Today somebody decided to turn off the light in the plotter room as opposed to letting the motion sensor turn the lights on and off. Now people will go into the room, turn the lights on and walk out without turning them off. We have three elevators and they took one out of service to save energy. Now we use the two remaining elevators 1/3 more. ...<< MORE >>

Did I ever tell you when I discovered my wife was afraid of heights?  Like
all things you "discover" about people, it came at a most inopportune
time. ...<< MORE >>

I guess after four weeks of recuperation it was time to get back in the
groove.  This past Monday I went back to work even though the doctor wanted
me to wait two more weeks.  In my infinite wisdom I talked him into
releasing me early so I could get back into the office and ease into a normal
work schedule.  As you would guess, I'm right back spending 11 or 12 hours
a day at it as if nothing ever happened.  ...<< MORE >>

My first day without a prostate proved to me that the prostate
is directly responsible for the ability to stand upright and move your
legs, bend in the middle and sit comfortably.  The only time it didn't
hurt was between heartbeats. ...<< MORE >>

FOR SALE:
Fireplace insert.  CHEAP!  Had prostate
removed, can't get wood anymore. ...<< MORE >>

   Every year I find myself eulogizing about December 2nd living
in infamy.  For decades I've had the honor of telling others about a
wonderful, super special person that I am so blessed to call my sister and
the day of her birth, December 2nd.
...<< MORE >>

It seems as though I've been absent for some time now when actually, I was just
trying to make it through October.  I have officially declared October,
2008 to be the worst month of my life...so far.
"What sets October apart from all the rest," you ask?
...<< MORE >>

From the politically incorrect files of Engrish Funny....
...<< MORE >>

"Drop your pants and bend over."  Every middle aged man dreads hearing
those inevitable words from good ol' Dr. Finger, but we know it's part of
growing older.  While I hope it's no more of a pleasure for Dr. Finger than
it is for the patient, there is only one convenient portal that allows him in
the proximity of our little friend the prostate gland.  How
unfortunate.
...<< MORE >>

ICANHASCHEEZEBURGER Lolcats you're not likely to see on
their website. ...<< MORE >>

The other day I posted a short piece mentioning how much I hated school when I
was a kid.  Even though I lived in a small town where everyone knew each
other, we were still cursed with school bullies.  Today I understand
that the bully mentality is, in itself, a cry for help.  Unfortunately
when I was a kid, I was usually the one that ended up crying for help.
...<< MORE >>

Think you know why our economy is in such sad shape?  So did I, but I found
out I didn't have a very good grasp of the REAL problem.  Here is a
great explaination in the form of an animated video.  It's 47 minutes long
(face it, some things take more than 2 minutes, you'll live, I promise), but it
is easy to understand.  "Money as Debt" ...<< MORE >>

There are certain good songs that still bring back bad memories for me.  No
matter how hard I try, I relate them to a particular time and place
that I wish I could forget.  For instance the video below...
...<< MORE >>

A little nostalgia for the baby boomers...........enjoy! ...<< MORE >>

There certainly has been a hoopla going on since John McCain announced Sarah
Palin as his running mate.  I, like everybody else, was surprised by his
choice.  Being a listener of NPR I had heard of her before, back when she
defeated Murkowski in 2006, and they pointed out that Alaska wasn't the type of
place you'd expect to find a woman running things.
...<< MORE >>

    I don't know if I've discussed this before, but a friend of mine says that it's not normal to sing to your pets.  He talks to his, but he doesn't sing to them or make jokes to them.  I carry on conversations with mine, especially since my wife has been out of town.  They expect it.  They talk to me and I talk to them.  No big deal.  But I've always sung to my pets, too.  I thought everybody did.  Don't you sing to your pets? ...<< MORE >>

Once again I've been honing my negligence skills and not keeping up to date with
this blog.  I don't know if you can tell, but I've gotten pretty darn
good.  Today at work a fellow was talking about timeshares and it reminded
me of an experience I had when my lovely wife decided we had lived long enough
without one.
...<< MORE >>

There are so many lessons we learn from marriage that no one ever mentions
before we enter into the eternal bliss of holy matrimony.  One personal
trait can be the key to success in every marriage.  Only one
spouse needs to possess it and that's a good thing because I've found that
in virtually all marriages I've ever known, only one spouse has actually had the
trait.  What is it, you ask?  It's tolerance.
...<< MORE >>

Once before I told you about a few of the milder antics my roommate and I
performed while at Ole Miss.  Like every college student I've ever known, I
am no different.  There are instances that I can never share and others
that should have never taken place.  One fellow from our hometown was going
to school with us at the time and provided us with an outlet for our
creativity.
...<< MORE >>

Even in this day of cable TV, air conditioning and the ACLU I still would have
serious reservations about going to prison.  Imagine what it would have
been like back in the 1920's.  My grandmother's family worked at one of the
state prison camps during this time period and had some photos that I have
scanned. ...<< MORE >>

As I said the other day, when I was a kid the grocery store didn't sell leather
recliners like our Kroger does today.  It had a good variety, but not the
ten jillion brands of stuff we're used to today.  But go back to rural
Mississippi around 1937 and the "store" had a different meaning.  Take a
look at this picture... ...<< MORE >>

I had an entry the other day about the American grocery store of
yesteryear.  Today I'd like to show you a little meat market in Mississippi
from 1955.  Below you'll see a photo.. ...<< MORE >>

The fellow that owned the car followed us out there in his pick up truck and
thought it would be funny to ram us from behind as we rode along. ...<< MORE >>

Well it looks like that dumb ol' girl wasn't the dumb one after all. ...<< MORE >>

You want a good reason why they can't let them dumb old girls play sports with
men?  ...<< MORE >>

So this afternoon I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items.  Now
this is the GROCERY store, Kroger, not Wal-Mart.  The first thing you
notice about Kroger is the Blue Rhino propane, generic canned
drink machines, and cigarette smoking employees that line the wall out
front. ...<< MORE >>

Here's a truth for you: You learn more out of class than in
class at college.  You get to take the frivolity of childhood and mix
it with the harshness of adult life.  Most of the things you did cannot be
revisited and understood with a mature brain.  Then again, most of the
things you did should never be revisited. ...<< MORE >>

If life were measured in seasons then I'm in squirrel season.  I'm a Baby
Boomer by birth but honestly, it was right at the tail end of the Baby
Boomers.  Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm old now and here's how I can
tell...
...<< MORE >>

Every so often you just get to a point where you need to lash
out.  It would be so wonderful if we could grab up a select group of people
by the collar and slap a slat out of 'em a slit long.  Explain what it's like
to be a regular member of society and not a priveledged socialite or some media
maggot that makes a living making a big deal about absolutely nothing.  It
never seems to stop.  Everyday, over and over, the same old crap.  Do
you know what I'm talking about?  ...<< MORE >>

Well,  they're back.  The coons are eating us out of house and home
once again. ...<< MORE >>

I think I've discovered the second sign of the Apocalypse ...<< MORE >>

Okay, maybe they aren't actually related to me but they could be.  The
ladies in this video each remind me of specific members of my family...some
remind me of the same member, repeatedly.  ...<< MORE >>

"You know, they say fish bite best during a tornado."  Actually I had never
heard that and just made it up as a joke.  Jim thought for a bit and
then replied, "Now who has ever fished during a tornado?"  I thought to
myself, "Idiots like us."
...<< MORE >>

It's a shame I feel it necessary to sink to this level, but I don't think many
females in today's workplace understand the issues men live with in the work
environment.  I know you're saying we get bigger paychecks, more
promotions, better benefits, better opportunities, etc, but I'm guessing that
there is one thing you don't have to put up with that we do.  The mens
room.
...<< MORE >>

For years people have told me that I wasn't "right", that something was wrong
with me.  I'm finally coming to the conclusion that they are correct. ...<< MORE >>

I support polygamy like on HBO's "Big Love" or something like Hugh Hefner
would go for, but the real life stuff has too many bad consequences. ...<< MORE >>

She wasn't a very good artist and perhaps that is what attracted me to
her.  Or maybe it was the fact that I was a 6'-5" container of testosterone
and she was extremely well endowed...definitely one of the two.  ...<< MORE >>

Years ago, when Duh Niece (who has never done anything embarrassing in her
entire life) was fairly young, ...<< MORE >>

If someone rips a hole in the door with an ax, pokes their head through and says
with a dastardly smile, "Here's Johnny!", we recognize that they are quoting
Jack Nicholson in The Shining and not Ed McMahon of the Tonight show. ...<< MORE >>

  If you've been reading this blog very long you know that I am an avid
dreamer.  I know I'm lucky to remember most of them, but I honestly don't
put much stock in any deep meanings.  The Sister disagrees, mainly because
my dead relatives appear in everyone of them, but I think it's just random brain
activity.  ...<< MORE >>

And just when I thought we knew all the reasons to hate Wal-Mart, they go and do
this.  ...<< MORE >>

I recently told you about my life with migraines.  This past Thursday I
visited the Headache Clinic in what I hope is a positive step toward ending my
misery.  When you walk in the door, the very first thing you notice is that
the clinic is dimly lit.  Most migraine sufferers have an intolerance for
bright lights and loud noise.  It wasn't really noisy, but there was a
middle aged man there being rather loud, obviously thinking he was amusing and
cute.  No one reciprocated his rudeness by telling him to shut
up.  One ...<< MORE >>

We are probably all guilty of aiding Wal-Mart in its relentless path toward
world domination.  I know I shop there on occasion and hate myself
afterward.  Honestly the only reason I go is because of convenience. 
Pitiful excuse, huh?  ...<< MORE >>

Okay, here's a link to a video for you. First
watch it but don't listen to it and it seems a little unnerving. ...<< MORE >>

So I pointed out that without us white males, they wouldn't even have these
classes, since we are solely responsible for all the evil in the world. ...<< MORE >>

Tomorrow I have a diversity training class that will last all day
long...assuming no fights break out.  Of course I'm kidding about the
fights.  Everybody that goes to these classes is always on their best
behavior.  It'll be a love-fest, I'm sure. ...<< MORE >>

I've been a migraine headache sufferer for about twenty years.  The
first four years I endured with no effective treatment whatsoever.  As
most migraine sufferers do, I swallowed handfuls of Excedrin, Tylenol,
Ibuprofen, Aspirin, Sudafed and combinations of whatever I thought would relieve
the pain. ...<< MORE >>

Okay, before you start, let me tell you that this is not worth reading. 
I'm just making an entry to disprove the rumor that I'm dead.  I resorted
to some of the stuff that I wrote and, for good reason, didn't post.
...<< MORE >>

Have you realized how screwed up we are?  The other night I was watching a
documentary about the first people in to Australia.  In maintaining a
touch of reality, they used real live Aborigines to play the part of, well,
Aborigines.  So, we're watching as they wander around, armed with some
sharp sticks, discovering kangaroos and possums the size of rhinos and things of
that nature.  These folks were wearing a little bit of strategically
placed grass and palm fronds, trying not to become salad and main
course for some twenty foot lizard. ...<< MORE >>

I am going to proclaim that March 10th through 16th is "SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF" week ...<< MORE >>

Lazar was the funniest of the our new Russian friends.  Since the US had
never established an exchange rate for dollars to rubles, Lazar made all of his
price comparisons based on Coca-Cola.  ...<< MORE >>

Well, the weather report calls for snow.  BLECK!  I'm ready for
summer. ...<< MORE >>

Let me explain something.  We have a big issue in this country with "gay
marriage".  We're hung up on it.  We have legislators that want to
amend our constitution so that it explain that marriage is between one man
and one woman ONLY.  I'm also pretty sure that I have relatives that feel
such an amendment would be a good thing.  ...<< MORE >>

The other day I was talking to someone about accidents that result from people
doing something stupid.  Here in the South we are all familiar with the
"Hey, y'all...watch this!" genre of accidents.  I think those are the
exception.  More often the victim doesn't intentionally set out to get
everyone's attention but the gross misjudgment of the situation results in a
stunned and disfigured individual with a cadre of surprised spectators torn
between gawking and turning away. ...<< MORE >>

You try to be a good citizen and what do you get? ...<< MORE >>

In the event you think humans are superior to everything else, take a look at
this video. You'll never convince me that abstract thought processes aren't
going on with these creatures. ...<< MORE >>

Throughout man's history, a good hunt has been the source of many
memories.  Consider cave paintings that show men hunting animals eons
ago.  ...<< MORE >>

Yesterday will surely go down in the annals of meteorological history as a bad day in the South. Many of us in Mississippi and Tennessee spent an evening ducking and dodging debris flung by a series of tornadoes that traversed our area. Some folks weren't lucky enough to get out of the way. ...<< MORE >>

People send me “tests” all the time just to see if I’m up to the challenge. Here’s one that I made up a few years back. ...<< MORE >>

And the magic phrase that made all the tricks work?  "Hocus-pocus black
eyed peas!"  Looking back I guess it makes an episode of "Hee-Haw" seem
like "La Boheme". ...<< MORE >>

Not much to say today.  I was going through some old computer files
and found this list that I made for an aquaintance who is a compulsive
"list maker".  No matter what the circumstance, he can make a list for
it.  He has lists of his lists.  If he actually accomplishes something
on the list, then he has to make a NEW list! ...<< MORE >>

Entertainment was hard to come by in our small Mississippi town, so
we took what we could get.  Often it precariously
teetered on the borderline between cultural retardation and morbid
curiosity.
...<< MORE >>

We had been planning to take out all the carpet in the house for quite some
time.  After the allergist confirmed my dust allergies, I was even more
committed to do it.  So, back around Christmas while my wife was out of
town, I ripped out all the carpet upstairs.  ...<< MORE >>

When I was a little kid, we had a pig named Corky. ...<< MORE >>

We all pondered what rancid treasure could be hidden inside that
large silver time capsule. ...<< MORE >>

This is my 100th entry in The Biting Fly. 
Unfortunately I have nothing special to commemorate the occasion.  I did,
however, run across this photo. ...<< MORE >>

I probably have a list of pet peeves longer than most, since I'm a rather
crotchety old guy, but on occasion some stand out a little more than
others.  On the subject of general human nature, there is one thing
that will tick me off quicker than stepping on a tack.  ...<< MORE >>

For these guys, it was windbreaker weather.  For me, however, all
molecular motion had slowed considerably and I was on the verge of
hallucinating. ...<< MORE >>