The invention of the Polaroid camera was undoubtedly a dramatic step forward when it came out.  I remember people using that big bulky accordion style camera to take “instant” pictures.  They’d make a big production out of it and after the snapshot they would pull the undeveloped photo out and rub the surface with what looked like a mascara applicator.  Then they would wave the picture around to dry and in a few minutes, presto-chango, you’d have a poorly lit, extremely dark black and white photo.

    While I am sure that these cameras took hundreds of thousands of pictures of kids, grandkids, family reunions, cars, pets, graduations and vacation memories, they did allow an activity to which the average person had never before had access.  In the privacy of your own home you could take “naked” pictures and not have to risk the embarrassment of taking them to the drug store to get developed.  For the first time in history John and Jane Q. Public could become anonymous pornographers.

    Pornographer seems like such a strong word.  Let’s say "art photographer", instead.  Amateur art photographers like your Cousin Sadie and Ralph the neighbor guy, around the globe probably took mind numbing photos that are better left to the imagination.  I would also venture to say that the vast majority of these photos were destroyed within the following twelve or so hours.  Anyone with the slightest bit of gumption would realize that such photos could be incredibly valuable if they fell into the wrong hands, or if they wanted to get even when Cousin Sadie dumped them for some old guy down at the VFW.   But that’s not what happened in this case.

    This is one where I have to protect the innocent.  Sometimes you’re just so stupid you can’t be guilty even when you do something awful.  There’s a particular someone that I have know for a long, long time that did something that most of us can’t imagine.  Let’s say a particular man and woman who were legally wed and very nice people got a little frisky one night and took some art photos with a borrowed Polaroid camera.  Nothing extreme, just graphic nudity.  They weren’t even in the pictures together.  Really amateur stuff.  Since they had been happily married for years or perhaps because it was a borrowed camera, they didn’t see the need to destroy the photos after their evening of frolicking nudism.  That was mistake number one.

    If you are going to keep naked pictures of yourself around, I would suggest a secure place to hide them, perhaps one of those giant gun safes that are about four inches thick and have a door like a bank vault.  A coat pocket is not a good place.  That was mistake number two.

    A coat pocket is definitely the wrong place if you have, say, an eight or nine year old kid.  It’s not just a bad spot to hide them because the kid may find it.  It’s a bad spot because the kid will, in fact, find them and TAKE THEM TO SCHOOL TO SHOW HIS FRIENDS.  Not because he’s bad, but because he inherited your ignorance.

    Yes, believe it or not, that kid was given the chance to grow up and is still alive today.