I remember hearing Jimmy Buffet say that people often asked him, “How can you sing such beautiful, romantic love songs and then turn right around and sing such trash?”  His response was,”Hell, sometimes I feel romantic and sometimes I just feel trashy!”, or something like that.  I think it happens to all of us every now and then.

    So, once while I was feeling fairly trashy I made up this Top Ten List.  It’s unlikely I’ll offend much of anyone considering I’ve got about two readers.  But if you’re offended, then don’t tell anybody you read it.

TOP TEN THINGS TO SAY AT THE RECEPTIONIST’S DESK WHEN GETTING A SPERM COUNT

10.  You know a mirror on the ceiling would be nice in there.
  9.  Can I get some shoe covers and a hair net?
  8.  Oh, I’ll need a much bigger cup than that.
  7.  I’m in kind of a hurry.  Mind if I go ahead and start out here?
  6.  How was I to know that was your coffee cup?
  5.  100 BUCKS?  Geez, how much is a lap dance?
  4.  What’s the record?
  3.  This?  It’s a Pamela Anderson sock puppet.
  2.  When I’m done...could you...just cuddle with me for a while?
  1.  Hey everybody!  Hold out your cups...this one’s on me!