I’ve never been much of a practical joker.  However some members of my family excel in the art of pranks.  For instance, my cousin and uncle got into a practical joke once that culminated in my uncle definitely winning the contest.

    My cousin came across an incredibly realistic rubber snake once.  Of course for him this meant he had to use it in the best possible way.  So, one day while he was at his parents’ house, he hid the rubber snake where someone was sure to find it...by surprise.  He slipped into their bedroom and put the rubber snake under the sheets at the foot of his father’s side of the bed.  This snake was about two inches in diameter and probably two and a half feet long.

    As you can imagine, that night my uncle got in the bed and slid his feet down against the cold rubber snake.  Recognizing that something was obviously wrong, he jumped out of bed and threw back the covers.  I’m pretty sure it “scared the far” (far is Southern for fire) out of him before he realized it was that “John Brown” rubber snake.  After he calmed down, he took the snake and hid it...for future use.

    My cousin and his wife lived in a trailer up the hill behind his parents’ house and shared the same driveway.  Each night my cousin and his wife would go clean and lock up the Laundromat that my uncle owns.  They usually got back home around midnight.  Well, some time had passed since the rubber snake in the bed prank and my uncle decided it was time to turn the tables.  While my cousin and his wife were gone to clean up the Laundromat, he sneaked up to their trailer and carefully arranged a scenario where the snake would catch them by surprise.  He placed it by the front steps with its head resting up on the dog’s water bowl.  There was a front porch light that gave off just enough light to see the snake laying there.

    My aunt said that when they went to bed that night, my uncle was giggling about what he had done.  So when he heard the two victims’ car go up the driveway, he was pretty sure that the good ol’ rubber snake was going to “scare the far” out of them.  He just didn’t know how much.

    My cousin’s wife described what happened when they started to get out of the car.  Their little dog ran out to meet them and my cousin’s reaction went something like this:

“Got doggit! There’s a snake! Stay in the car, stay in the car, it’s a snake! Dog, you better get away from that bowl!  Come here, come here!  We’re gonna hafta go around back to get in.”

    With the dog under his arm, they went to the back of the trailer where there were no steps, just underbrush and the door was a good four feet off the ground.  When they got to the back door, my cousin had to hold his wife up on his shoulders to unlock the door and open it.  They went inside, my cousin got his 12 gauge shotgun then slowly cracked open the front door.

    Down at my uncle’s house he was laying there imagining how good he had scared them when he heard, “WHHOOOOOM-WHHOOOOOM-WHHOOOOOM!!!!!!” the explosive reports of the shotgun.  I would imagine at this point they had to change the bed sheets because he surely laughed so hard he wet the bed.

    Back up at my cousin’s, he had just fired off three rounds at the snake, destroying the dog’s bowl, but leaving the snake intact.  His wife said he opened the door a little more, looked at the snake real hard, then turned and said in a calm, matter of fact voice, “That’s that ol’ rubber snake.”