I am a redneck.  I can’t help it.  I could put on airs, but sooner or later you’d catch me doing something like a snot rocket or watching fishing on TV.  It’s a calling from deep within.  It goes back generations.  My family’s genealogy is difficult to trace because one of my ancestors changed the spelling of his last name in order to stop getting his brother’s mail.  They were also known for things like standing on the property line with a shotgun to prevent the county from grading their road simply because they didn’t like the Supervisor.

    Being a redneck has paid off.  I know a lot of stuff just by instinct.  For instance, rednecks know a lot about eating.  My favorite meal in the world, neck bone with cornmeal dumplings, is a delicacy that only costs about a dollar to make.  I also know that you should always smell your food and ask the ingredients before eating something unknown, no matter how good it looks.  And if it doesn’t look good, don’t be fooled by fancy names.  My Grandmother tried to trick my sister into eating baked possum by telling her it was O-possum.  Not possum, but O-possum...with sweet potatoes.  Sometimes, when you’re really young, your parents will feed you things just to see if you will eat it.  My Mother fed me a ton of brains and eggs and that’s just not right.  If I questioned her today as to why she would do such a thing, I guarantee her response would be, “...but you liked it!”

    I often talk about being redneck, but here’s the proof.  The picture below was taken long ago at my great-grandparents’ house.  My sister is the one on the left swinging on the post.  That’s where she got her start pole dancing.  I’m the wormy looking little boy sitting straddle the post on the right side.  The rest are a bunch of cousins.  That’s Papaw in the swing.


    The next picture features some other family members.  That’s my mother to the right of the soldier and her cousin is on the left.  I’m not sure who the soldier or the little girl in the middle is, but that’s my Grandmother standing in the door inside the house.  It looks like she has a medal pinned on her sweater.  Notice they were making the pig stay out of the house.