What Happened to Christmas?
What ever happened to Christmas? I'm not talking about the "meaning" of Christmas, but the really great gifts that kids got. You know, things like the Vac-U-Forms and Bowie knives, Easy-Bake Ovens, B-B guns, steam engines and cannons. Things that required high temperatures and electricity, high speed projectiles, live steam and an open flame. These were educational toys. The first thing you learned with a Vac-U-Form was that molten plastic will burn the stew out of you. It was also electrical so when you're six years old, you have the opportunity to learn respect for common household current.
Nothing teaches responsibility better than firing a B-B gun in the house. You begin to understand terms like "high-value target". Even better, you gain insight into careers such as forensics by seeing the damage inflicted by an errant B-B and attempting to make it look like someone else did it. You learn about payola and keeping secrets.
Another fact kids today don't get to know...Bowie knives are good for about one week. They are for very special occasions and one time sneaking and getting it. The priviledge of having one is totally meaningless unless you get to take it out and whack trees and throw it at the wall. Then, after a certain someone finds out you did those things, it gets "put up" until you go camping with scouts and then a whole bunch of you can whack trees and throw them at stuff. Once again that's learning responsibility.
A very little known fact is that every boy secretly wanted an Easy Bake oven. It had absolutely nothing to do with cooking. It was all about eating cakes. And after you ate all the cake stuff that came with it, you could run crickets and green plastic soldiers through it. Or Barbie's head.
Now, everything is safe. Made with the manufacturer's liability in mind. Todays' kids just don't have a chance to get good stuff for Christmas, do they? I say forget the video games and cell phones. If you want to build character and teach responsibility, give your kid a glob of molten plastic and something with a razor sharp edge.
Nothing teaches responsibility better than firing a B-B gun in the house. You begin to understand terms like "high-value target". Even better, you gain insight into careers such as forensics by seeing the damage inflicted by an errant B-B and attempting to make it look like someone else did it. You learn about payola and keeping secrets.
Another fact kids today don't get to know...Bowie knives are good for about one week. They are for very special occasions and one time sneaking and getting it. The priviledge of having one is totally meaningless unless you get to take it out and whack trees and throw it at the wall. Then, after a certain someone finds out you did those things, it gets "put up" until you go camping with scouts and then a whole bunch of you can whack trees and throw them at stuff. Once again that's learning responsibility.
A very little known fact is that every boy secretly wanted an Easy Bake oven. It had absolutely nothing to do with cooking. It was all about eating cakes. And after you ate all the cake stuff that came with it, you could run crickets and green plastic soldiers through it. Or Barbie's head.
Now, everything is safe. Made with the manufacturer's liability in mind. Todays' kids just don't have a chance to get good stuff for Christmas, do they? I say forget the video games and cell phones. If you want to build character and teach responsibility, give your kid a glob of molten plastic and something with a razor sharp edge.
I wish I still had the electric stove that I got when I was 6. The oven worked and the "eye" worked, too. I can remember frying tiny apple pies on it. I could have cooked Thanksgiving Dinner on the thing if I had a notion to. I also had a toy iron that got hot enough to really iron and/or scorch clothes. If a child of today was given a complete assortment of our toys he or she would surely be electrocuted, choked, cut, burned, lead-poisoned, and blinded. It's a wonder we made it to adulthood.
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"If a child of today was given a complete assortment of our toys he or she would surely be electrocuted, choked, cut, burned, lead-poisoned, and blinded."
As I said, they were educational toys! There is no telling how much lead I ingested. I was melting lead on the stove as soon as I found out that you could melt lead. I poured it in every "mold" I could come up with. I've bitten a ton of split-shot in my life time and probably swallowed a few along the way. That could be what's wrong with me today!
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