Do You Know What I'm Sick Of?
Every so often you just get to a point where you need to lash out. It would be so wonderful if we could grab up a select group of people by the collar and slap a slat out of 'em a slit long. Explain what it's like to be a regular member of society and not a privileged socialite or some media maggot that makes a living making a big deal about absolutely nothing. It never seems to stop. Everyday, over and over, the same old crap. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you know what I'm sick of?
1. I'm sick of Katie Holmes' hair-do. Why do I need an update every day?
2. I'm sick of Obama, Clinton and McCain. Our country is screwed. Our economy-screwed, social security-screwed, health care-screwed, foreign policy-screwed, climate-screwed, etc-screwed.
3. I'm sick of Osama bin Laden and his frikkin' tapes. His fifteen minutes of fame are up. If they would quit playing his damned tapes, sooner or later he'll be wandering from TV station to TV station trying to get on the air and somebody will get a clean shot at him and we can MOVE ON!
4. I'm sick of John Mayer. You cannot date Jessica Simpson, dump her and then start dating Jennifer Anniston. That is unsportsmanlike conduct. Show a little decency to your fellow man and throw a 5 or a 6 in between the 10's.
5. I'm sick of Brangelina. I can't even believe I wrote that. Why are they in charge of populating the Earth?
6. I'm sick of watching Amy Winehouse destroy her life. If I lived in London I'd go over and just beat the shit out of her.
7. I'm sick of Britney Spears being filmed 24 hours a day. It would be more informational to film her parents 24 hours a day so we could see if the apple fell very far from the tree.
8. I'm sick of every single solitary person that wandered across the set of a rap video being referred to as a "superstar".
9. I'm sick of Hannah Montana having her picture taken half naked by mistake. Her daddy is redneck enough that he would have "poured a 55 gallon drum of whoop ass" on the photographer if it really were a mistake. He didn't, did he?
10. I'm sick of anything whatsoever that has the words "Mariah Carey" involved.
1. I'm sick of Katie Holmes' hair-do. Why do I need an update every day?
2. I'm sick of Obama, Clinton and McCain. Our country is screwed. Our economy-screwed, social security-screwed, health care-screwed, foreign policy-screwed, climate-screwed, etc-screwed.
3. I'm sick of Osama bin Laden and his frikkin' tapes. His fifteen minutes of fame are up. If they would quit playing his damned tapes, sooner or later he'll be wandering from TV station to TV station trying to get on the air and somebody will get a clean shot at him and we can MOVE ON!
4. I'm sick of John Mayer. You cannot date Jessica Simpson, dump her and then start dating Jennifer Anniston. That is unsportsmanlike conduct. Show a little decency to your fellow man and throw a 5 or a 6 in between the 10's.
5. I'm sick of Brangelina. I can't even believe I wrote that. Why are they in charge of populating the Earth?
6. I'm sick of watching Amy Winehouse destroy her life. If I lived in London I'd go over and just beat the shit out of her.
7. I'm sick of Britney Spears being filmed 24 hours a day. It would be more informational to film her parents 24 hours a day so we could see if the apple fell very far from the tree.
8. I'm sick of every single solitary person that wandered across the set of a rap video being referred to as a "superstar".
9. I'm sick of Hannah Montana having her picture taken half naked by mistake. Her daddy is redneck enough that he would have "poured a 55 gallon drum of whoop ass" on the photographer if it really were a mistake. He didn't, did he?
10. I'm sick of anything whatsoever that has the words "Mariah Carey" involved.
1. And why does the media keep harping about Suri "disappearing" all the time? Everytime I see a new report on Katie's hair, the kid is slung on her hip and holding a baby bottle with the little plastic bag in it to prevent air-gulping. She should be sucking peanuts out of a Coke bottle by now.
2. I heard that as you leave the voting booth, everybody's getting a big jar of petroleum jelly.
3. Bin Laden is probably living in Peoria, working at a convenience shop and does these tapes when the Slurpy machine is broke down.
4. I don't care who Mayer dates...but I get your point.
5. And why does it have to be some big breaking news story that she's toting twins? What's the big deal with that? Why doesn't she just go ahead and load up on fertility drugs so she can start having them by the litter instead of a measly one or two at a time. Personally, I think they're trying to out-do the Duggars.
6. Does anybody ever hear any of the award-winning music this creature churns out? The only time I've ever heard it was the Grammys when she was loaded with awards...and some other stuff apparently.
7. Britney needs to just go away. She needs to realize that the 12 year olds who were her fans have all grown up now and are busy trying to keep up with Katie Holmes' hair.
8. That's kinda like every fat, sweaty guy in a yellow suit being called "Reverend."
9. They need to nip it! Nip it...just nip it in the bud!!! Going to hell in a handbasket!!! You just mark my words.
10. So I guess this nixes the possiblity of getting that $600 bottle of Mariah perfume for Christmas this year. And, by the way, I think her records must be played by the same station that plays Amy Winehouse's.
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