The American Grocery Store
My father worked in a grocery store most of his life. We're talking three aisles containing a huge variety of necessities, personal service, you could call your order in, get free delivery, credit, order cooked food, etc. They had a flyer or circular they put out every week advertising the weekly specials. A free 5 pound bag of sugar with every $10.00 purchase and stuff like that. Of course my father would point out the ladies to me that would come in and only buy the items on the flyer. He recognized them when they walked in the door. The store had about a dozen buggies (we didn't call them carts). When you filled up a buggy and checked out, it could cost as much as $50 or $60. They would sack your groceries PROPERLY in big brown paper bags, take them out and put them in your car. They opened at eight in the morning and closed at six in the evening except on Thursdays when they closed at noon. They were always closed on Sundays.
So this afternoon I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items. Now this is the GROCERY store, Kroger, not Wal-Mart. The first thing you notice about Kroger is the Blue Rhino propane, generic canned drink machines, and cigarette smoking employees that line the wall out front. This time of year you also have to make your way through the maze of plants, garden furniture and grills they have on hand. So many, in fact, that if it's raining you can't walk under the covered area, you have to walk in the road because they have so much furniture in the way. Let's not forget that if it's the weekend you'll have some civic group selling something out front right square in the doorway so you have to maneuver through that as well.
Once inside the first set of doors I got a buggy, went past more patio furniture, the real estate brochures, through the second set of doors and turned right as all true Americans do when shopping. Actually, you have to turn right because they have the left blocked with all the florist stuff, mainly those hideous mylar helium balloons. The first thing you run into is an obstacle course of baked goods on tables. Honestly, the baked goods look tasty, but my experience has been that they aren't. It's all presentation.
It doesn't matter to me. I'm a man. Shopping is a mission. Get in. Get out. I don't waste time buying, but I do make a lot of observations for future reference. For instance when I got to the wall of candy right past the good cheese I saw something different. I say "good cheese" because they have the wide variety large quantity processed cheese foods over in the dairy section. In a little refrigerated display in the middle of the floor on the opposite side of the building they have the deli cheeses at twice the price. Perhaps they'll go bad if they are kept together. More than likely we won't pay the higher price. Back to my point. I saw something I've never seen in a grocery store. They are selling leather rocker recliners. I didn't look at the price or the manufacturer so I can't tell you if it was a good deal or not. I also didn't notice if it had an expiration date on it. Anyway, I kept shopping grabbing my few items which happen to be about the same items I buy every time I go to the store.
I'm never going to go to Kroger with the intention of buying living room furniture. If they think it's an impulse purchase then what are we coming to? Eclipse gum is an impulse purchase. AAA batteries are an impulse purchase. You live with a recliner. You have to go out, look at and select furniture. Have you ever been in a furniture store and asked the sales person where the recliners were to have them reply, "Between the goat cheese and the M&M's"?
So this afternoon I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items. Now this is the GROCERY store, Kroger, not Wal-Mart. The first thing you notice about Kroger is the Blue Rhino propane, generic canned drink machines, and cigarette smoking employees that line the wall out front. This time of year you also have to make your way through the maze of plants, garden furniture and grills they have on hand. So many, in fact, that if it's raining you can't walk under the covered area, you have to walk in the road because they have so much furniture in the way. Let's not forget that if it's the weekend you'll have some civic group selling something out front right square in the doorway so you have to maneuver through that as well.
Once inside the first set of doors I got a buggy, went past more patio furniture, the real estate brochures, through the second set of doors and turned right as all true Americans do when shopping. Actually, you have to turn right because they have the left blocked with all the florist stuff, mainly those hideous mylar helium balloons. The first thing you run into is an obstacle course of baked goods on tables. Honestly, the baked goods look tasty, but my experience has been that they aren't. It's all presentation.
It doesn't matter to me. I'm a man. Shopping is a mission. Get in. Get out. I don't waste time buying, but I do make a lot of observations for future reference. For instance when I got to the wall of candy right past the good cheese I saw something different. I say "good cheese" because they have the wide variety large quantity processed cheese foods over in the dairy section. In a little refrigerated display in the middle of the floor on the opposite side of the building they have the deli cheeses at twice the price. Perhaps they'll go bad if they are kept together. More than likely we won't pay the higher price. Back to my point. I saw something I've never seen in a grocery store. They are selling leather rocker recliners. I didn't look at the price or the manufacturer so I can't tell you if it was a good deal or not. I also didn't notice if it had an expiration date on it. Anyway, I kept shopping grabbing my few items which happen to be about the same items I buy every time I go to the store.
I'm never going to go to Kroger with the intention of buying living room furniture. If they think it's an impulse purchase then what are we coming to? Eclipse gum is an impulse purchase. AAA batteries are an impulse purchase. You live with a recliner. You have to go out, look at and select furniture. Have you ever been in a furniture store and asked the sales person where the recliners were to have them reply, "Between the goat cheese and the M&M's"?
You want to go to a REAL grocery store? Come on down to my neck of the woods. We've got two. You'll pass the first one before you get to our house. Piggly Wiggly...or as we call it..."Pig." This is an old fashioned grocery store that does not carry recliners or barbecue grills. Those items probably have to be called in as a special order. "It'll be in on the truck next Tuesday." They have great meat. A hundred times better than that shiny stuff at WalMart. Our other real grocery store is on down the road past our house. Got to go to town to get to this one. It's small, but bigger than Pig. They have good meat, too. And their bakery is actually good. Both of these stores still bag your groceries and carry them out to the car for you. I really dread the day that the Urban Shove makes it way down here and we, too, will be ramming our buggies through the balloons and lawn furniture to try to buy a dozen eggs. By the way, in reference to the buggy/shopping cart name, I was going in Sam's and I said "let me grab a buggy." The fossilized greeter informed me quickly that "this is a shopping cart, not a buggy...buggies have horses in front of them." I respected my elder by not replying, but I thought to myself "Yeah, but they got a jackass standing by them...close enough."
Anyway, when you get sick of emporium grocery shopping, go to Pig and buy a steak. It even smells like Daddy's store.
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Remember when we lived at Flairwood? There was a Big Star up there that had that same small grocery store smell. It really was a small grocery store, though. Once when Deb was out of town, it snowed something like 10" and all I had to drive was the lovely Sunbird that would get stuck on asphalt when it rained. For three days the cat and I were living off of Snickers bars and cake frosting so I had to venture forth and go the grocery to buy food or face being cat food during the night. Nothing worse than waking up to "nom nom nom nom nom" and a sharp pain in your foot. Anyway, I got to the store, rounded up the grub, went to the checkout and all I had was Deb's checkbook and my driver's license. That wasn't good enough for the checker, BUT the bag boy came to my rescue. He knew me from the university and vouched for me. I got the food, slipped and slid all the way back home. Roxie and I had a scrumptious meal (I forgot what it was) and all was right with the world.
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