What are Friends For?
Once before I told you about a few of the milder antics my roommate and I performed while at Ole Miss. Like every college student I've ever known, I am no different. There are instances that I can never share and others that should have never taken place. One fellow from our hometown was going to school with us at the time and provided us with an outlet for our creativity.
One winter day in Oxford we woke up to see a winter wonderland. Actually we had about two inches of snow on the ground. Down here that means schools and businesses close and you head to the grocery store to stock up on bread and milk. We turned on the TV and the radio, but there was absolutely nothing mentioning that the school was to be closed. Honestly, who in their right mind would expect college to be closed when half the students lived on campus or within five miles?
Faced with the reality of class, we had a brilliant idea. Mike, our friend, lived in an apartment off campus. We decided to give him a call. My roommate, used his best southern drawl and this is how it went...
Phone rings....
"Hello?"
"Mike ------?"
"Yes?"
"This is Chancellor Porter Fortune...We're trying to get out to all the students who live off campus and tell them that classes are closed today. We don't want anybody getting hurt out on these slippery streets."
"Yes sir!"
"Thank you and be careful!"
"Yes sir"
Click.
Porter Fortune was the Chancellor of Ole Miss at the time we were attending. There was absolutely zero chances in a million that he would EVER be calling Mike, let alone to tell him that classes were canceled because of two inches of snow. But good ol' Mike believed it. He immediately called his mother and told her that the Chancellor had called him personally to tell him that classes were canceled. I know this because my mother worked with his mother. Mike didn't go to class that day. There is great satisfaction when you know that your job as a friend is done and done well.
During that time there was a commercial on TV for a very special purse. It had about twenty pockets on it and special compartments for everything you can imagine. It made of the finest vinyl, had an adjustable strap, mirror, zippers galore, you name it. All for $19.95 and you could get it monogrammed for free. Call the toll free number and yours would be delivered in a couple of weeks, C.O.D. We decided Mike needed one.
Since we didn't live near Mike, we relied on information from his roommate or other friends to tell us how some of these things worked out. We waited for weeks and didn't hear anything about the purse. Then one day I got a call from my mother. It seems Mike wasn't smart enough to turn down a package that he didn't order and paid the twenty dollar C.O.D. charge. His mother was trying to collect from my mother because they were sure that my roommate and I had been the ones that did it. I don't remember if I admitted any wrong doing or not. But after that we pretty much laid off Mike. Except that we put his name on some porno mailing lists. Lots of porno mailing lists. I don't remember him complaining to mama about that.
One winter day in Oxford we woke up to see a winter wonderland. Actually we had about two inches of snow on the ground. Down here that means schools and businesses close and you head to the grocery store to stock up on bread and milk. We turned on the TV and the radio, but there was absolutely nothing mentioning that the school was to be closed. Honestly, who in their right mind would expect college to be closed when half the students lived on campus or within five miles?
Faced with the reality of class, we had a brilliant idea. Mike, our friend, lived in an apartment off campus. We decided to give him a call. My roommate, used his best southern drawl and this is how it went...
Phone rings....
"Hello?"
"Mike ------?"
"Yes?"
"This is Chancellor Porter Fortune...We're trying to get out to all the students who live off campus and tell them that classes are closed today. We don't want anybody getting hurt out on these slippery streets."
"Yes sir!"
"Thank you and be careful!"
"Yes sir"
Click.
Porter Fortune was the Chancellor of Ole Miss at the time we were attending. There was absolutely zero chances in a million that he would EVER be calling Mike, let alone to tell him that classes were canceled because of two inches of snow. But good ol' Mike believed it. He immediately called his mother and told her that the Chancellor had called him personally to tell him that classes were canceled. I know this because my mother worked with his mother. Mike didn't go to class that day. There is great satisfaction when you know that your job as a friend is done and done well.
During that time there was a commercial on TV for a very special purse. It had about twenty pockets on it and special compartments for everything you can imagine. It made of the finest vinyl, had an adjustable strap, mirror, zippers galore, you name it. All for $19.95 and you could get it monogrammed for free. Call the toll free number and yours would be delivered in a couple of weeks, C.O.D. We decided Mike needed one.
Since we didn't live near Mike, we relied on information from his roommate or other friends to tell us how some of these things worked out. We waited for weeks and didn't hear anything about the purse. Then one day I got a call from my mother. It seems Mike wasn't smart enough to turn down a package that he didn't order and paid the twenty dollar C.O.D. charge. His mother was trying to collect from my mother because they were sure that my roommate and I had been the ones that did it. I don't remember if I admitted any wrong doing or not. But after that we pretty much laid off Mike. Except that we put his name on some porno mailing lists. Lots of porno mailing lists. I don't remember him complaining to mama about that.
His mama used that purse with his initials on it, so it wasn't a total loss. I don't think Mama gave her the money for it. Actually, I think Mama told her if he was idiot enough to pay for it, he deserved it.
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