Back in the Groove
I guess after four weeks of recuperation it was time to get back in the groove. This past Monday I went back to work even though the doctor wanted me to wait two more weeks. In my infinite wisdom I talked him into releasing me early so I could get back into the office and ease into a normal work schedule. As you would guess, I'm right back spending 11 or 12 hours a day at it as if nothing ever happened.
There's some demon inside me that insists on working too much. For the life of me I never thought I could be a workaholic...it just wasn't in my genes. I've got relatives on one side of my family that wouldn't shake a stick at a snake. However it happened, I've got this insane idea that working a lot is important or some such craziness. Perhaps I don't actually work too much, rather I spend too much time at work. I'm a fixture at the office. I don't take vacations, I don't have any hobbies anymore, I never do anything fun. I just get up and go to work. I even work at home on weekends and while I was recovering from surgery. I realize this is just plain ol' wrong, but I'm possessed. I have to complete my work. I don't get paid extra, either. What happened to me? I used to be a normal deadbeat but over the past 20 or so years I've drifted toward accomplishment. I'm telling you it's sick.
The doctor gave me some Cialis today, that's news. As I've told you before, prostate surgery has a tendency to take the starch out of your unit. So he told me that using Cialis or similar medications is actually good for you because it gets the blood flowing down there once again. I've also recently tried prescription pornography (that's what I told my wife it was) to see if Mr. Happy would be able to smile again. He didn't seem interested. Some time back when my wife felt she was being stalked by her biological clock I tried Cialis. Let me tell you, it worked. All you needed was a slight breeze and "boink"! I thought the name was rather catchy, too. Cialis (pronounced see-alice). "Hey, if you need an erection...see Alice!" Enough of that.
You know, my wife snores. It's like sleeping with somebody repeatedly playing one note on a tuba all night long. Sometimes it blends into my dreams and I have a nightmare that I'm being run down by a Mack truck. Years ago I tape recorded her because she insisted that she didn't snore. When I played it back to her, she got mad at me. I told someone this and they said, "You can't understand why?" No, I don't understand. I guess it's like where they set up the video cameras at the traffic lights and send you a crisp, clear picture of your car and license plate as you speed through the red light. You know you're guilty but it just pisses you off when somebody points it out.
There's some demon inside me that insists on working too much. For the life of me I never thought I could be a workaholic...it just wasn't in my genes. I've got relatives on one side of my family that wouldn't shake a stick at a snake. However it happened, I've got this insane idea that working a lot is important or some such craziness. Perhaps I don't actually work too much, rather I spend too much time at work. I'm a fixture at the office. I don't take vacations, I don't have any hobbies anymore, I never do anything fun. I just get up and go to work. I even work at home on weekends and while I was recovering from surgery. I realize this is just plain ol' wrong, but I'm possessed. I have to complete my work. I don't get paid extra, either. What happened to me? I used to be a normal deadbeat but over the past 20 or so years I've drifted toward accomplishment. I'm telling you it's sick.
The doctor gave me some Cialis today, that's news. As I've told you before, prostate surgery has a tendency to take the starch out of your unit. So he told me that using Cialis or similar medications is actually good for you because it gets the blood flowing down there once again. I've also recently tried prescription pornography (that's what I told my wife it was) to see if Mr. Happy would be able to smile again. He didn't seem interested. Some time back when my wife felt she was being stalked by her biological clock I tried Cialis. Let me tell you, it worked. All you needed was a slight breeze and "boink"! I thought the name was rather catchy, too. Cialis (pronounced see-alice). "Hey, if you need an erection...see Alice!" Enough of that.
You know, my wife snores. It's like sleeping with somebody repeatedly playing one note on a tuba all night long. Sometimes it blends into my dreams and I have a nightmare that I'm being run down by a Mack truck. Years ago I tape recorded her because she insisted that she didn't snore. When I played it back to her, she got mad at me. I told someone this and they said, "You can't understand why?" No, I don't understand. I guess it's like where they set up the video cameras at the traffic lights and send you a crisp, clear picture of your car and license plate as you speed through the red light. You know you're guilty but it just pisses you off when somebody points it out.
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