Did I Ever Tell You...
Did I ever tell you when I discovered my wife was afraid of heights? Like all things you "discover" about people, it came at a most inopportune time. We had gone to Branson for a long weekend several years ago. It was in autumn so we decided to rent a convertible and enjoy the rainbow of foliage the Ozarks provide. I don't have to tell you how hard it rained the trip up there, do I?
Anyway, we arrived in Branson and went straight to the hotel to check in. I don't remember the name of the place, but it was laid out in a rather unique fashion. The front of the hotel was a single story while the back was about four stories high. This was achieved by building on a mountainside. It was dark when we go there, so we didn't even notice this architectural feature. We had our luggage with us, so we were going straight to our room from the front desk. Let me clarify something here...we had my luggage with us. For some reason my dear wife forgot hers! Anyway, as we followed the directions from the clerk, we through the lobby and into a large room where the pool was located. Just past the pool were two glass doors, one on the right and one on the left, obviously leading outside since you could only see darkness beyond them. I went to the right door (as I've mentioned before, all Americans start on the right) and walked out.
It opened onto a balcony that led to the rooms. Our room was on the fourth floor and, as luck would have it, this was the fourth floor. The three foot wide walkway had a metal rail along the side that kept you from dropping the fifty feet down to the parking lot. As I walked along in front of my wife, talking the whole time, I looked for our room. As luck would have it, we were on the wrong side so we had to walk all the way around the building. It was actually only five or six doors down if we had gone out the left door past the pool. Anyway, as I turned the corner and started back up the other side of the building I realized my wife wasn't anywhere in sight. I called her name and there was no answer.
I went back around the balcony and there she was...absolutely plastered against the wall of the hotel. She had both arms spread grasping the cracks of the bricks and was inching along with the look of sheer terror on her face. I asked if she was okay and there was no reply. I walked back up the walkway where she was now pressing against someone's door and once again asked if she was okay. I don't remember what she said, but I assure you it wasn't anything pleasant. Then I made a mistake. I reached out and grabbed her arm.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!! OH MY GOD!!" I swear she made it sound like I was a rapist or something, so I immediately let go. She continued screaming so I stepped back. By now, people were looking out the windows to see what was going on. I tried my best to calm her down, I even stepped in between her and the handrail, but that seemed to make things worse. I tried to get her to go back to the pool area, but she continued to shimmy along the wall further and further down the balcony. Finally I just gave up and went to our room to put my luggage up. I felt like a horrible husband but it would have been worse if I had been arrested for attacking her, so I waited with the door open so she could just fall in when she got there. When she arrived, she was ten years older.
Needless to say, we didn't leave the room until it was light the next day. And we went to the left...
Anyway, we arrived in Branson and went straight to the hotel to check in. I don't remember the name of the place, but it was laid out in a rather unique fashion. The front of the hotel was a single story while the back was about four stories high. This was achieved by building on a mountainside. It was dark when we go there, so we didn't even notice this architectural feature. We had our luggage with us, so we were going straight to our room from the front desk. Let me clarify something here...we had my luggage with us. For some reason my dear wife forgot hers! Anyway, as we followed the directions from the clerk, we through the lobby and into a large room where the pool was located. Just past the pool were two glass doors, one on the right and one on the left, obviously leading outside since you could only see darkness beyond them. I went to the right door (as I've mentioned before, all Americans start on the right) and walked out.
It opened onto a balcony that led to the rooms. Our room was on the fourth floor and, as luck would have it, this was the fourth floor. The three foot wide walkway had a metal rail along the side that kept you from dropping the fifty feet down to the parking lot. As I walked along in front of my wife, talking the whole time, I looked for our room. As luck would have it, we were on the wrong side so we had to walk all the way around the building. It was actually only five or six doors down if we had gone out the left door past the pool. Anyway, as I turned the corner and started back up the other side of the building I realized my wife wasn't anywhere in sight. I called her name and there was no answer.
I went back around the balcony and there she was...absolutely plastered against the wall of the hotel. She had both arms spread grasping the cracks of the bricks and was inching along with the look of sheer terror on her face. I asked if she was okay and there was no reply. I walked back up the walkway where she was now pressing against someone's door and once again asked if she was okay. I don't remember what she said, but I assure you it wasn't anything pleasant. Then I made a mistake. I reached out and grabbed her arm.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!! OH MY GOD!!" I swear she made it sound like I was a rapist or something, so I immediately let go. She continued screaming so I stepped back. By now, people were looking out the windows to see what was going on. I tried my best to calm her down, I even stepped in between her and the handrail, but that seemed to make things worse. I tried to get her to go back to the pool area, but she continued to shimmy along the wall further and further down the balcony. Finally I just gave up and went to our room to put my luggage up. I felt like a horrible husband but it would have been worse if I had been arrested for attacking her, so I waited with the door open so she could just fall in when she got there. When she arrived, she was ten years older.
Needless to say, we didn't leave the room until it was light the next day. And we went to the left...
Comments