Just Another Day at the Ranch
We're trying to conserve energy at work. Some people do it by taking the stairs instead of the elevator and some just take a nap. Some open the door with their hands while others use the automatic opener intended for disabled employees. Today somebody decided to turn off the light in the plotter room as opposed to letting the motion sensor turn the lights on and off. Now people will go into the room, turn the lights on and walk out without turning them off. We have three elevators and they took one out of service to save energy. Now we use the two remaining elevators 1/3 more.
We also have to remove any personal refrigerators, microwaves or other small appliances we have in our offices. One fellow has a refrigerator and he said he was thinking about just unplugging it and leaving it there. Of course the iceberg that has grown in there over the past few years will melt and flood the place, but we'll save some money. But in truth, it's been against the rules to have appliances at your desk all along.
Talking about the refrigerator, it reminded me of a story. Several years ago, my brother-in-law Jim told me about something that happened out on the farm. They had a deep freeze that was at the shop and it failed during the hot summer months. Everybody kept things like venison and fish in it until they were ready to take the meat out and prepare it. Well, there was quite a span of time between the failure of the freezer and its discovery. Enough time that everything inside turned putrid. Of course, the owner of the freezer (a penny pincher if there ever was one) asked, "Can we get it fixed?" It might have been possible, but he wasn't going to find anyone to clean it out first! Meanwhile, Red, one of the employees, decided he would make the best of the situation. So, when another worker who didn't know anything about the freezer came in, Red told him, "Man, Jim caught the biggest catfish I've ever seen in my life yesterday. Go out there and look in the freezer...I bet you've never seen one this big. Of course the guy goes out to the freezer, opens the lid and is immediately stunned by the horrendous odor of rotten meat. Everybody got a good laugh. Then, Red did it again when Howard, the land conservation guy, came by. This time it was supposed to be a big ol' snake. Howard almost puked when he opened the freezer and got a whiff of the contents. It was a fun time for all. Obviously, it takes little to amuse some folks.
After a while, they decided they needed to get rid of the freezer but, of course, there were no volunteers. A plan was formulated that would dispose of the freezer without exposing anyone to the liquefied meat inside. They wrapped the chest in duct tape to prevent the top from coming open, took the fork truck and loaded it into the bean truck. The bean truck had a hydraulic tilt bed, so they took the freezer out to the back of the farm and dumped it in a gully. I realize that's not much of a story, but wouldn't it have been great if someboy called the sheriff's department and told them that someone had dumped a body in a deep freeze. Can you imagine the forensics bill generated by trying to match up the DNA of all that game meat? No doubt it would have been Jane Doe.
We also have to remove any personal refrigerators, microwaves or other small appliances we have in our offices. One fellow has a refrigerator and he said he was thinking about just unplugging it and leaving it there. Of course the iceberg that has grown in there over the past few years will melt and flood the place, but we'll save some money. But in truth, it's been against the rules to have appliances at your desk all along.
Talking about the refrigerator, it reminded me of a story. Several years ago, my brother-in-law Jim told me about something that happened out on the farm. They had a deep freeze that was at the shop and it failed during the hot summer months. Everybody kept things like venison and fish in it until they were ready to take the meat out and prepare it. Well, there was quite a span of time between the failure of the freezer and its discovery. Enough time that everything inside turned putrid. Of course, the owner of the freezer (a penny pincher if there ever was one) asked, "Can we get it fixed?" It might have been possible, but he wasn't going to find anyone to clean it out first! Meanwhile, Red, one of the employees, decided he would make the best of the situation. So, when another worker who didn't know anything about the freezer came in, Red told him, "Man, Jim caught the biggest catfish I've ever seen in my life yesterday. Go out there and look in the freezer...I bet you've never seen one this big. Of course the guy goes out to the freezer, opens the lid and is immediately stunned by the horrendous odor of rotten meat. Everybody got a good laugh. Then, Red did it again when Howard, the land conservation guy, came by. This time it was supposed to be a big ol' snake. Howard almost puked when he opened the freezer and got a whiff of the contents. It was a fun time for all. Obviously, it takes little to amuse some folks.
After a while, they decided they needed to get rid of the freezer but, of course, there were no volunteers. A plan was formulated that would dispose of the freezer without exposing anyone to the liquefied meat inside. They wrapped the chest in duct tape to prevent the top from coming open, took the fork truck and loaded it into the bean truck. The bean truck had a hydraulic tilt bed, so they took the freezer out to the back of the farm and dumped it in a gully. I realize that's not much of a story, but wouldn't it have been great if someboy called the sheriff's department and told them that someone had dumped a body in a deep freeze. Can you imagine the forensics bill generated by trying to match up the DNA of all that game meat? No doubt it would have been Jane Doe.
Or maybe John Deer.
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