Google It
Have you ever paid attention to the "query suggestions" that Google offers when you start typing in a search word? It's fairly amusing and there is even a web page dedicated to it. I wondered, "Can Google provide helpful hints?" So I typed in the word "Never" in the search box and then offered a few starting letters (of course I choose 'do not filter my search results'...it's a Libertarian thing). Here is a list of ten things Google suggest never to do. The bold part is what I typed in.
10. Never tell a girl to calm down
9. Never touch a black man's radio
8. Never give a cheerleader a keyboard
7. Never look at a gypsy's balls
6. Never throw rice at a pisces
5. Never lick a dead man's hand
4. Never slow dance with a zombie
3. Never bite a married woman on the thigh
2. Never spit on your shoes
1. Never trust a big booty and a smile
These certainly seem like good, solid advice.
Google is such a magical thing, it can answer any question. Some you didn't even know to ask. For instance...
Do they dream of mauling zebras? [What do tigers dream of?]
Can an opinion be wrong? [Not if it's mine]
Can you not have a belly button? [How about if I just fill it in with lint?]
Can you pick up a ups package? [No. But you can kick it like they do.]
Can you circumcise yourself? [If I'm drunk enough.]
Can you describe the ruckus? [Do you mean the one while I was circumcising myself?]
Can you fart in your sleep? [Yes...and wake myself up.]
Can you fire a gun in space? [Yes, but you would have to get it past security first.]
Can you laminate at kinkos? [Only upstairs...in the VIP lounge.]
Can you milk a hamster? [Yes, but that little stool is a bitch to use.]
10. Never tell a girl to calm down
9. Never touch a black man's radio
8. Never give a cheerleader a keyboard
7. Never look at a gypsy's balls
6. Never throw rice at a pisces
5. Never lick a dead man's hand
4. Never slow dance with a zombie
3. Never bite a married woman on the thigh
2. Never spit on your shoes
1. Never trust a big booty and a smile
These certainly seem like good, solid advice.
Google is such a magical thing, it can answer any question. Some you didn't even know to ask. For instance...
Do they dream of mauling zebras? [What do tigers dream of?]
Can an opinion be wrong? [Not if it's mine]
Can you not have a belly button? [How about if I just fill it in with lint?]
Can you pick up a ups package? [No. But you can kick it like they do.]
Can you circumcise yourself? [If I'm drunk enough.]
Can you describe the ruckus? [Do you mean the one while I was circumcising myself?]
Can you fart in your sleep? [Yes...and wake myself up.]
Can you fire a gun in space? [Yes, but you would have to get it past security first.]
Can you laminate at kinkos? [Only upstairs...in the VIP lounge.]
Can you milk a hamster? [Yes, but that little stool is a bitch to use.]
Comments