Where Have I Been?
Contrary to popular belief, I am still alive. Sometimes it's hard to tell, but if you put a chalk mark on the floor and come back in a few minutes you can tell I'm moving.
So, what have I been doing lately? Well, for starters, I had a TIA about a month ago. I was sitting at my desk at work about 6:00 pm one evening and suddenly I began to feel a tad light headed. Before I knew it, I began to feel like I was slipping away as things started growing darker in my peripheral vision. My mind was replaying thousands of vivid images in an incoherent, uncontrollable stream. It was like the proverbial "life flashing before my eyes" you always hear about. I sat up straighter in my chair and felt my chest to see if I was still alive. I stood up, turned and saw the cleaning lady standing on one side of the door then she was instantaneously on the other side.
I walked to the boss's office and luckily he was still there. I went in and sat down for a few minutes and told him what had just happened. He said I repeated myself for about the next ten minutes while he looked up possible ailments on WebMD. Within 40 minutes I was back to normal.
Like all manly men, I waited about four days before I went to the doctor. I explained the situation to him and he said it was most likely a transient ischemic attack. They drew off a large quantity of blood (seven separate samples) and set up some MRI's and MRA's. The blood work came back indicating that my homocysteine level was elevated. As a result of all this I was prescribed Metanx and aspirin. I was also grounded until we get some satisfactory results on subsequent blood tests.
So that and work is about it. Oh, I almost forgot...I am now the holder of a Guiness World Record. I went to the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor on Tuesday and had the WORLD'S BIGGEST BOOGER removed. I wish I had a picture to show you, but honestly, I didn't look at it myself. They dug around in there and after several minutes of scraping were able to dislodge the behemoth. As luck would have it, It didn't come out with the suction device. It went down my throat instead. Trust me, I gagged it up the instant I realized what was happening. I spit it into a tissue and gave it to the doctor. They asked if I wanted to see it and I graciously declined. Everyone else in the room went on for quite some time about the magnificence of the petrified loogie even stating it was "the biggest one I've ever seen!" Imagine my pride. I love making people happy.
So, what have I been doing lately? Well, for starters, I had a TIA about a month ago. I was sitting at my desk at work about 6:00 pm one evening and suddenly I began to feel a tad light headed. Before I knew it, I began to feel like I was slipping away as things started growing darker in my peripheral vision. My mind was replaying thousands of vivid images in an incoherent, uncontrollable stream. It was like the proverbial "life flashing before my eyes" you always hear about. I sat up straighter in my chair and felt my chest to see if I was still alive. I stood up, turned and saw the cleaning lady standing on one side of the door then she was instantaneously on the other side.
I walked to the boss's office and luckily he was still there. I went in and sat down for a few minutes and told him what had just happened. He said I repeated myself for about the next ten minutes while he looked up possible ailments on WebMD. Within 40 minutes I was back to normal.
Like all manly men, I waited about four days before I went to the doctor. I explained the situation to him and he said it was most likely a transient ischemic attack. They drew off a large quantity of blood (seven separate samples) and set up some MRI's and MRA's. The blood work came back indicating that my homocysteine level was elevated. As a result of all this I was prescribed Metanx and aspirin. I was also grounded until we get some satisfactory results on subsequent blood tests.
So that and work is about it. Oh, I almost forgot...I am now the holder of a Guiness World Record. I went to the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor on Tuesday and had the WORLD'S BIGGEST BOOGER removed. I wish I had a picture to show you, but honestly, I didn't look at it myself. They dug around in there and after several minutes of scraping were able to dislodge the behemoth. As luck would have it, It didn't come out with the suction device. It went down my throat instead. Trust me, I gagged it up the instant I realized what was happening. I spit it into a tissue and gave it to the doctor. They asked if I wanted to see it and I graciously declined. Everyone else in the room went on for quite some time about the magnificence of the petrified loogie even stating it was "the biggest one I've ever seen!" Imagine my pride. I love making people happy.
Okay. So just how big was this booger? Tell us. Inquiring minds want to know.
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It was so big there was a smaller booger orbiting around it.
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Was it Uranus????
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